Today is a busy day of packing and organizing for a month in Austin followed by a month in Lebanon. It still seems so far off, so it is difficult to get moving with these things. Really I'm just in a haze or something right now...
Yesterday was a bit of a downer. I talked to two old friends of mine and as we talked, their misery and emptiness just packed my heart with lead. I was sad to hear how they have settled for such a meager living - one being settled for church nothings and perpetual lack and the other for cynicism and bitterness. It's difficult to know what to say...or think. I just kept thinking, "Life and life abundantly..." and hoped that that means more than a Lexus and a big house- not that I have those things either... At any rate, I'll just wait - there's not another choice for me. Still I know that even in the confusion and uncertainty, my hope and my confidence is in the fact that all of this is at His hand...He has divinely ordered this for me for my good...I can deal with that : )
Last night Julie and I went to Bubba's with my parents, Nathan's parents and Josh who stopped in for dinner on his way from Waco to Overton. It was purdy fun - good to see the Stimsons and Josh, however brief our time was.
I'm still loving being with Julie - things are difficult for us both at the moment, but I'm glad we are together in this.
Til later...this is Memma-Brooke signing off.
Saturday, March 26, 2005
Monday, March 14, 2005
Dallas
Well, I don't have anything terribly interesting to talk about, but I felt it was time to post something. I drove to Dallas all by myself on Thursday (you should note that this was my first trip to make out of town alone...this is indeed a weekend of firsts!). I have been spending a lot of time just hanging out with my sister, Sarah. We got all dressed up and girly to go out to eat with Charlie at Fogo de Chao - which was fun in itself. The food was sooooooo good. Better than I know how to say. And the Creme Brulee was....unbelievable. It was quite an experience. Then we went and had coffee at La Madeleine and talked. The next morning, we met up with our friend, Karin and a friend of Charlie's, Ramsey at a Lebanese place for breakfast. I have never before had the combined taste of cheese, sweet-cakey stuff, and rosewater syrup inside of pita bread - - but it was incredibly good along with the meat and cheese pies. I'm already feeling quite silly that a very large portion of what I have said thusfar has been about food. I suppose food is a big part of the enjoyment of life...since we do eat several times a day...and these were unique delights. I must say though, that all of these pleasures will be left in the dust of Julie's plane when it lands this evening at 7:26pm. I will have more to write later...hopefully of a more interesting nature. Until then...
Monday, March 07, 2005
Law of the Spirit
You know when you read something that speaks so deeply to your circumstance - right to the crux of everything you are inwardly fighting? It's as if finally that aching thing has finally found expression - and the first thing you think is how badly you want the closest people to you to read that very thing - you want to point at it and say, "See!? That's me! This is what I have so long wanted to explain to you!" Well...yes, it is true, I have a piece of such literature for you today. Hundreds of years ago, Luther wrote a preface to Romans - which I have had in my posession for a while now and am only now getting around to reading. Jed gave it to me after telling me how good it was...and I will say I do indeed concur. I am giving you a couple samples of things he said that struck me - and then giving you a website whereby you may read it at your own leisure online.
"...But to fulfill the law means to do its work eagerly, lovingly and freely, without the constraint of the law; it means to live well and in a manner pleasing to God, as though there were no law or punishment. It is the Holy Spirit, however, who puts such eagerness of unconstained love into the heart... But the Spirit is given only in, with, and through faith in Jesus Christ...
In chapter 6, St. Paul takes up the special work of faith, the struggle which the spirit wages against the flesh to kill off those sins and desires that remain after a person has been made just. He teaches us that faith doesn't so free us from sin that we can be idle, lazy and self-assured, as though there were no more sin in us. Sin is there, but, because of faith that struggles against it, God does not reckon sin as deserving damnation. Therefore we have in our own selves a lifetime of work cut out for us; we have to tame our body, kill its lusts, force its members to obey the spirit and not the lusts. We must do this so that we may conform to the death and resurrection of Christ and complete our Baptism, which signifies a death to sin and a new life of grace. Our aim is to be completely clean from sin and then to rise bodily with Christ and live forever...
Because our flesh has not been killed, we are still sinners, but because we believe in Christ and have the beginnings of the Spirit, God so shows us His favor and mercy, that He neither notices nor judges such sins. Rather He deals with us according to our belief in Christ until sin is killed...Neither nature nor free will nor our own powers can bring about such justice, for even as no one can give himself faith, so too he cannot remove unbelief...Therefore everything which takes place outside faith or in unbelief is a lie, hypocrisy and sin (Rom 14) no matter how smoothly is goes."
I really hope you will print out the text and really cogitate over it. I think we are really touching on something that goes deeper than we even know...into the whole issue of sin and redemption - how one is to really satisfy the demands that we sense being made upon us - and how impossible it yet feels - how insurmountable our sin and flesh - what exactly faith accomplishes in us...etc.
Tonight I am thinking how incredibly grateful I am that I have such friends as you. God has been better to us than we even know. Lord Come!
http://www.ccel.org/l/luther/romans/pref_romans.html
"...But to fulfill the law means to do its work eagerly, lovingly and freely, without the constraint of the law; it means to live well and in a manner pleasing to God, as though there were no law or punishment. It is the Holy Spirit, however, who puts such eagerness of unconstained love into the heart... But the Spirit is given only in, with, and through faith in Jesus Christ...
In chapter 6, St. Paul takes up the special work of faith, the struggle which the spirit wages against the flesh to kill off those sins and desires that remain after a person has been made just. He teaches us that faith doesn't so free us from sin that we can be idle, lazy and self-assured, as though there were no more sin in us. Sin is there, but, because of faith that struggles against it, God does not reckon sin as deserving damnation. Therefore we have in our own selves a lifetime of work cut out for us; we have to tame our body, kill its lusts, force its members to obey the spirit and not the lusts. We must do this so that we may conform to the death and resurrection of Christ and complete our Baptism, which signifies a death to sin and a new life of grace. Our aim is to be completely clean from sin and then to rise bodily with Christ and live forever...
Because our flesh has not been killed, we are still sinners, but because we believe in Christ and have the beginnings of the Spirit, God so shows us His favor and mercy, that He neither notices nor judges such sins. Rather He deals with us according to our belief in Christ until sin is killed...Neither nature nor free will nor our own powers can bring about such justice, for even as no one can give himself faith, so too he cannot remove unbelief...Therefore everything which takes place outside faith or in unbelief is a lie, hypocrisy and sin (Rom 14) no matter how smoothly is goes."
I really hope you will print out the text and really cogitate over it. I think we are really touching on something that goes deeper than we even know...into the whole issue of sin and redemption - how one is to really satisfy the demands that we sense being made upon us - and how impossible it yet feels - how insurmountable our sin and flesh - what exactly faith accomplishes in us...etc.
Tonight I am thinking how incredibly grateful I am that I have such friends as you. God has been better to us than we even know. Lord Come!
http://www.ccel.org/l/luther/romans/pref_romans.html
Sunday, March 06, 2005
Fortified Wall of Bronze?
...Who keeps us in life, and does not allow our feet to slip.
For Thou hast tried us, O God;
Thou hast refined us as silver is refined.
Thou didst bring us into the net;
Thou didst lay an oppressive burden upon our loins.
Thou didst make men ride over our heads;
We went through fire and through water;
Yet Thou didst (You will) bring us out into a place of abundance...
-Psalm 66:9-12-
Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls about like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world. And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you...To Him be dominion forever and ever.
-1Peter 5:8-
Thy words were found and I ate them,
And Thy words became for me a joy and the delight of my heart;
For I have been called by Thy name,
O Lord God of hosts.
I did not sit in the circle of merrymakers, Nor did I exult.
Because of Thy hand upon me
I sat alone.For Thou didst fill me with indignation.
Why has my pain (my sin! my flesh!) been perpetual?
And my wound incurable, refusing to be healed?
Wilt Thou indeed be to me like a deceptive stream
With water that is unreliable?
Therefore, thus says the Lord,
"If you return, then I will restore you
Before Me you will stand
And if you extract the precious from the worthless,
You will become My spokesman.
They for their part may turn to you,
But as for you, you must not turn to them.
Then I will make you to this people a fortified wall of bronze
And though they fight against you,
They will not prevail over you;
For I am with you to save you
And deliver you," declares the Lord
"So I will deliver you from the hand of the wicked
And I will redeem you from the grasp of the violent."
-Jeremiah 15:15-21-
How incurable my flesh, Lord. Your Word seems to have failed...give me understanding - do not let the enemy rejoice over me! Establish me in righteousness for Your Name's sake. Make me a living reality of Redemption. How weak and feeble my prayers are...especially when I feel crushed by my own failure. Cause me to understand that my confidence is in YOUR righteousness...not my ability to keep all the law perfectly. Who dares to come before you based on anything but YOUR blood? Save us Lord...
For Thou hast tried us, O God;
Thou hast refined us as silver is refined.
Thou didst bring us into the net;
Thou didst lay an oppressive burden upon our loins.
Thou didst make men ride over our heads;
We went through fire and through water;
Yet Thou didst (You will) bring us out into a place of abundance...
-Psalm 66:9-12-
Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls about like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world. And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you...To Him be dominion forever and ever.
-1Peter 5:8-
Thy words were found and I ate them,
And Thy words became for me a joy and the delight of my heart;
For I have been called by Thy name,
O Lord God of hosts.
I did not sit in the circle of merrymakers, Nor did I exult.
Because of Thy hand upon me
I sat alone.For Thou didst fill me with indignation.
Why has my pain (my sin! my flesh!) been perpetual?
And my wound incurable, refusing to be healed?
Wilt Thou indeed be to me like a deceptive stream
With water that is unreliable?
Therefore, thus says the Lord,
"If you return, then I will restore you
Before Me you will stand
And if you extract the precious from the worthless,
You will become My spokesman.
They for their part may turn to you,
But as for you, you must not turn to them.
Then I will make you to this people a fortified wall of bronze
And though they fight against you,
They will not prevail over you;
For I am with you to save you
And deliver you," declares the Lord
"So I will deliver you from the hand of the wicked
And I will redeem you from the grasp of the violent."
-Jeremiah 15:15-21-
How incurable my flesh, Lord. Your Word seems to have failed...give me understanding - do not let the enemy rejoice over me! Establish me in righteousness for Your Name's sake. Make me a living reality of Redemption. How weak and feeble my prayers are...especially when I feel crushed by my own failure. Cause me to understand that my confidence is in YOUR righteousness...not my ability to keep all the law perfectly. Who dares to come before you based on anything but YOUR blood? Save us Lord...
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