So...What Now?

Well, I returned from Lebanon a couple days ago...we were awake from 7am Thursday morning (Lebanon time) until 6am Saturday morning (Lebanon time). That is about 47 hours. Imagine. I actually feel great physically, not as jetlagged as I anticipated. I can't really feel that I've been to another country even. Needless to say, I'm just not sure how I am to re-adjust. I really just don't know how I should go about describing my time in Lebanon especially in blog-form. The time was fruitful, definately ordered by God - and though I am not sure what all transpired beneath the guise, however I am fully confident that God has mercy on all of our shortcomings and has glorified Himself. We spent most of our time with Abdallah's family in a little villiage called Gharife up in the mountains. It was beautiful beyond comparison - and now I know why Soloman always spoke of the beauty and fragrance of Lebanon. Jed and I managed to pick up the language supernaturally fast - and began reading and writing in Arabic within 1 week. God gave us favor with the family and we found a deep bond particularly with 2 of his sisters. I also met the most important political figure in Lebanon, Walid Jumblatt because Abdallah's brother-in-law is friends with him through his involvment with the PSP (Progressive Socialist Party).

Okay, I am realizing that there is literally no way that I will be able to touch the surface of my time in Lebanon. I will now proceed to just tell you what strange things I ate while there. Okay, I refused to eat the raw sheep liver because it was too bloody (though Jed and Julie both tried it), but I did eat raw beef, raw goat, and tiny baby birds (just snap off the head and feet...the bones added a crunchy texture...yum).

I am at a very strange place inwardly. I feel so torn inside about several things. I am my own worst enemy right now - and that "voice of (purported) wisdom" is telling me to do things that my conscience won't allow. I just have to take it day by day...everyday I make it without making that phone call, or writing that email is a sigh of relief on my pillow. I wonder if it will ever get easier. Well now I've done gone and made myself cry...I am just going to leave it at that.