It's Been a While

It really has been a long while since I have written anything of a personal nature. I can only explain by saying that the past month or so has been one of the hardest times of my life. The smoke has yet to clear and as I trudge through the days, an occasional scent of sanity and hope passes over me...but too quick for me to breathe it deeply. Don't get me wrong, I can not doubt that this is purposeful for God...but all my notions of what it is to be a believer have been tried and crushed. As I pass through the fire, I weep to see the things I held as so good and righteous consumed in the flame as chaff..and myself barely escaping. I am asking what is true faith that amounts to anything with God? How much of what I have held as "faith" is actually something of my own human fabrication that absolutely can not keep and preserve my Life in God? More on this later...