"One doesn’t discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a long time."
--C.S Lewis--
What is this place I am in right now? I have recently experienced a burst of clarity and resolve and spiritual stamina...yet I feel at the same time grief hovering as a "little black rain cloud" over my soul. It seems the road ahead of me has suddenly flashed almost as an apparition giving me a sense of what is to come, yet I still feel so much apprehension. The feeling is more of loss - letting go of something that everything in my natural self wants to reach out and save. Years have I waited for resolution - some revealing factor that would leave me without a trace of doubt. I hesitate to say anything more. I feel that only I would be able to read this cryptic post and know what I am saying. Forgive me if this is indeed too vague to even mildly understand.
Meanwhile, it is good to have Jed back. God is already releasing me from that choking need for approval from him. These things are so difficult for me...more-so than I have realized, but I cannot live in this unreality - being what I am not - and ommitting much of what I am. Lord help me.
About Me
- Emily
- Emily is 25, Abdallah (Charlie) is 40. We own and operate a restaurant together in Austin and a catering business in San Antonio. We have been married 2.5 years - we are crazy 'bout eachother. We love nothing more than being surrounded by family and friends as much as possible. We are the type that know everyone in the community...we love learning and travel and politics...there is always something and someone very interesting around us! Abdallah is Lebanese and I am from East Texas. We are the most unlikely pair, but hey its working. We a beeaautiful baby boy named Laith. He is currently rocking our world
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