"How's it hangin' Grandma?"

Some of you will recognize this title from the splendid "A Mighty Wind", it was inspired by my experience in the hospital this week with my grandmother (my title...not the movie). It has been a busy week. There hasn't been much time to even think - and the time that I do have has not been producing worthwhile thoughts...so this turns out for my good. Still lacking the resolve that I (left to my own wisdom) would desire, I remain a bit at odds with myself and the blurry world around me. So here I am again in my unproductive reverie. I confess that I knew from the beginning that the title of my blog would be more ironic than descriptive of the content following...so let's not be disappointed!

I feel weariness physically and have expelled a few tears of fatigue. But otherwise I am fine. Praise is much more becoming than all this complaining! To serve my octogenarian grandmother has served my spirit well also. I find comfort knowing that none of this strength or devotion is originating from myself...and this makes me feel safe somehow. I am living meagerly these days...but the Lord lifts my spirit just enough that I have not lost any sense of hope. I don't know how to talk to people lately...even the ones closest to me. I hate to say the same depressing things repeatedly, therefore I would rather shut up (when I honestly don't feel too terrible...but not well enough to be pleasant!) If you are reading this, you are one of my closest friends and understand me a bit by now anyhow.

Well that's enough. I miss Julie - and knowing that I will see her face again in a few weeks makes me smile at least twice a day. It seems that Josh will leave soon also. I don't know how I feel about that either. I suppose I just feel that distinct impression that "it's time". I'm the last one to be drafted into the real world. Perhaps its because I'm flat-footed. Goodnight.

PS) only Josh, Nate and Julie have access to this...as a point of interest.